Secret Negotiations Reveal Why Mel Gibson's Ex Turned Down $16 Million

Oksana Grigorieva wanted $20 million from Mel Gibson in exchange for keeping her secretly recorded -- and terrifying -- audio tapes of the actor's infamous, bigoted rant private. Though her side of the story is that she wasn't asking for the money as part of a hush deal, but rather making good on what she, as mother of Gibson's child, is owed.

An article in today's Los Angeles Times exposes previously unknown communications and new details about the secret legal negotiations that led to one of the nastiest court battles in Hollywood history. Gibson and Grigorieva continue to spar over custody of their baby daughter, Lucia, and attorneys for both have been urged by a judge to avoid the media since the exes' dirty laundry -- including those terrible tapes -- leaked onto Radar Online, TMZ and other outlets on a continuous loop.

And now, the origin story:

According to the Times,, which reviewed texts, emails and documents pertaining to the case, it all began a year ago -- literally, it was in February of 2010 -- when Grigorieva sought a lawyer after Gibson told her she needed representation as he was preparing to add their baby, Lucia, to his estate plan.

Grigorieva -- a Russian singer whom Gibson began dating while still married to ex-wife Robyn -- was "not entitled to any of the actor's fortune under the terms of a 2009 cohabitation agreement that said she would get only a year's free rent in a Sherman Oaks home Gibson owned and a Dodge Charger if they split," the Times reports.

So the singer -- armed with the tapes and photos -- assembled a legal team that met with his lawyers to hash out a settlement. She initially asked for $20 million but he offered $18 million. They eventually agreed on a $16 million deal in May. The deal included joint child custody, $11 million toward Lucia, and, for Grigorieva, more than $5 million and, just to sweeten the deal, a Steinway piano from Gibson's Malibu home.

Grigorieva later reneged, claiming she was coerced into signing the agreement. The case is still at family court.

Meanwhile, amid the back-and-forth, Gibson and Grigorieva had kept in touch with a faint glimmer of reconciliation.

"You don't call. You don't accept my invitation to come. You hand tapes around & jeopardize us all," he texted Grigorieva on the day his team legal team was offering her an $18 million settlement.

Her reply: "I wouldn't have played ur messages if u were keeping ur word."

While Grigorieva was traveling in Russia last April, he emailed to tell her he had given their daughter, Lucia, a glow-in-the-dark rosary. "I have said prayers for you too," he wrote.

So, kinda like a lot of confused/confusing texts and emails exes send after breakups, only much, much more ill-advised.

As of right now, the deal remains unsettled (in more ways than one), and allegations of extortion on Grigorieva's part persist. Her lawyers insist she really just loved Gibson and that they are just doing what lawyers do: negotiate for money.
Read More: Yahoo

The 10 Most Irritating, Least Helpful Parenting Tips Ever

I have nothing against friends and family offering advice when you come to them with a dilemma. It's the people who pipe up, unbidden, because they see you with a child and assume you have no idea what you're doing. Too often these people are elderly great-aunts. Fortunately those ladies are afraid of the Internet, so I can rail against them and they'll be none the wiser! Thanks, ladies.
1. "Sleep now, because once that baby comes you'll never sleep again." Technically this is a pregnancy tip, of course, but I'm shoving it in here anyway. Yes, Great-Aunt Hildy, I will sleep throughout my entire third trimester. Because I am part bear.

2. "Sleep when the baby sleeps." Everyone gives you this one — annoying relatives, pediatricians, the cashier at the drugstore where you were buying newborn diapers. Are these people all robots, capable of instantly dropping off to sleep whenever their child is unconscious? Do they not have other things to do, like bathe, or simply relish the rare moments of silence you get when you have an infant?
3. "I think your baby's hungry." Whether you're nursing or bottle-feeding, everyone assumes you don't know how to feed your child. And every time your child cries, whines, grimaces, or squirms, they are going to assume you are starving your poor baby and you need reminders to feed it. Lest you forget! This advice is especially maddening when they turn out to be correct.
4. "Relish every moment of your baby's first years, because they'll be grown before you know it." You mean, time only moves forward? I had no idea! I thought we'd be like this forever and ever! This sort of advice, obvious and innocuous as it seems, always put me on the defensive, as if I had just been carrying my baby under my arm like a football, muttering, "Grow up already, why don't you. Just GROW UP."
5. "I hope you're sleep training that child. Do you WANT him to be spoiled?" Oh, distant relative/person whose aisle I shared at the supermarket, I'm so glad you know exactly my child needs. And that you know, from your years of scientific research, that any child not allowed to cry it out will be a horrible waste of flesh! (See #6 for this parenting tip's counterpart.)
6. "I hope you're not doing that 'crying it out' thing. It's so barbaric. Enjoy your baby all through the night!" Again, kudos to you, whoever you are, for knowing what's best for our unique family situation! I will be calling you at 4 a.m., so you can enjoy our baby as well.
7. "Why are you bringing your child outside when it's so cold out?" It never ceased to amaze me that, no matter what my child's age, total strangers will express alarm and revulsion that I dared expose him to the elements. "And WHY ISN'T BE WEARING MITTENS? He's going to get consumption!"
8. "Your child isn't really sad/angry/injured. He's just manipulating you." There's no doubt that children can push our buttons as if they've had professional training in it, but the notion that my kid's authentic feelings are in fact manufactured to elicit a reaction really chaps my hide. If that were always true, he'd be a pint-sized sociopath. I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
9. "Schools are just glorified prisons. If you loved your child, you'd homeschool." Oh, if only I loved my child enough to abandon my livelihood, tear him away from the community he so enjoys, separate him from the professionals who have dedicated their careers to childhood education, and forced him to stay home all day with me, where we'd be at each other's throats for hours! If only! Please note: I am not opposed to homeschooling, at all — in fact I wish it would work for us, but it would not.
10. "If I were you, I'd just—" OH NO YOU DON'T. I know where this is going. Listen, unnamed distant acquaintance who last parented in the 19th century (it's true — I often get my unwanted advice from ghosts) you don't know diddly about my kid, and our relationship, and what works for us.
Read More: Yahoo