The celebrity media circus has no shortage of sensational headlines. Sensational in this case meaning straight-up crazypants! For your year-end entertainment, Wonderwall has compiled a comic list of the weirdest headlines of 2010.
Headline: Jolie-Pitts get nannying tips from Poppins
Subhead: Brangelina took the kids to the Broadway musical Mary Poppins and possibly picked up some tricks for caring for their brood.
Headline: Justin Bieber to Star in 3-D Movie About His Life
Subhead: 16-year-old pop sensation Justin Bieber will star in a 3-D film about his life so far
Seyfried Only Eats Spinach on Diet
Subhead: "Yesterday for lunch? Spinach. Just spinach. Spinach and some seeds," Amanda Seyfried told Esquire of her "awful" raw diet.
Headline: Pattinson Is a Vigorous Flosser
Subhead: According to a costar, Robert Pattinson chipped his tooth once by flossing too hard
Headline: McConaughey Wows Lesbians in Texas Gay Bar
Subhead: Camila Alves recently complained that, on a night out, a group of lesbians all wanted to get close to her man, Matthew McConaughey, instead of her.
Headline: Garner's Dolphin Encounter
Subhead: Jennifer Garner unknowingly brought a dolphin to orgasm while filming U.S. TV series "Fantasy Island."
Headline: Gyllenhaal "Constantly Shirtless" On Film Set
Subhead: Jake Gyllenhaal stayed in character while filming "Prince of Persia" by speaking with a British accent and staying shirtless long after the cameras stopped rolling.
Headline: Lohan: "My Father Had Someone" Steal My Passport
Subhead: Lindsay Lohan claims that her estranged father was behind her passport being lost in France.
Headline: Channing Wants Depp to Play Her in Movie About Her Life
Subhead: Carol Channing has announced she'd love to see Johnny Depp's handsome mug fill her heels in a big-screen version of her life
Headline: Perry wants to buy a farm
Subhead: Katy Perry says she wants to live with fiancé Russell Brand in a "quintessentially British" place like a countryside farm.
Headline: Johansson Is Sexy But Sweaty
Subhead: Scarlett Johansson says she has a perspiration problem and can't stop her "flop sweat" when she's onstage or on the red carpet.
Headline: Wahlberg embarrassed over pop star days
Subhead: Mark Wahlberg wishes his days as Marky Mark didn't embody everything cheesy about early '90s pop -- and he's tired of his friends making fun of him.
Headline: Hudson has a scarf obsession
Subhead: Kate Hudson says she has amassed a collection of more than 200 Hermes scarves.
Headline: Gomez Loves Hooters
Subhead: Clean-cut Disney star Selena Gomez surprised fans by professing her love for the raunchy American restaurant chain Hooters
Headline: Madonna
trying for a baby with Jesus
Subhead: The pop star was supposedly planning to try for a child with her toyboy lover Jesus Luz, according to reports.
Headline: Simpson "Vomited" While Visiting Sailors
Subhead: Singer Jessica Simpson got dehydrated and threw up after performing for troops on the
USS Harry S. Truman in the Persian Gulf.
Headline: Carrie Underwood: I Had a Baby Pig Poop on Me
Subhead: The country starlet endured pig defecation as part of an upcoming guest stint on "How I Met Your Mother."
Headline: Gisele Bundchen: Mandatory Breastfeeding 'Should Be a Worldwide Law'
Subhead: To new mom Gisele Bundchen, breastfeeding isn't just beneficial -- it's essential and should be international law
Headline: Suri Cruise Ditches Dance Class to Eat Chocolate
Subhead: Katie Holmes took her daughter to a dance class, but the two left just 15 minutes later for a sweets fix.
Headline: Rinna Gets Bumpy Upper Lip Reduced
Subhead: Reality TV star Lisa Rinna went under the knife in August to fix her upper lip, which had become bumpy because of too many silicone injections.
Headline: Kidman and Aniston in Hawaii Hula Dance-Off!
Subhead: Insiders on the set of "Just Go With It" insist that costars Jennifer Aniston
and Nicole Kidman are "totally bonding together" via hula dancing.
Headline: Jay-Z
dismisses silly devil-worship claims
Subhead: The rap superstar has dismissed online critics who have likened his new music video to "devil worship," calling the murmurs "ignorant."
Headline: Hudgens Was a Member of the Olsen Twins Fan Club
Subhead: Vanessa Hudgens was thrilled to land a movie role opposite Mary-Kate Olsen because she was a member of the Olsen Twins Fan Club as a kid.
Headline: RiRi Treated to Raunchy Birthday Dance
Subhead: Rihanna was given a saucy birthday treat when porn star Bridget the Midget performed a special lap dance for the R&B singer.
Headline: Ke$ha Sold Her Clothes to Buy Tacos
Subhead: Pop star Ke$ha was once so poor she had to sell her clothes to eat and have a few extra bucks in her pocket.
Headline: Khloe: I’d Beat the Crap out of a Girl Who Hit on Lamar
Subhead: In an interview, Khloe Kardashian threatens that she would beat down any girl who even talked to husband Lamar Odom too closely. Then she talks about how she's gained "love weight"!
Headline: Heigl: Dressing Baby Naleigh Is “Stressing Me Out”
Subhead: Katherine Heigl says she's overwhelmed by the high-priced baby couture that other celebrity moms dress their daughters in.
Headline: Snooki Slammed for Promoting Tanning
Subhead: "Jersey Shore" star Snooki is getting into trouble for saying that she'd like to change the world by installing tanning beds in everybody's homes.
Headline: James's Missing Dog CinnaBun Found
Subhead: Jesse James's beloved dog was found safe and sound just hours after the pitbull was reported missing.
Headline: Jonas Bros trapped in elevator
Subhead: The Jonas Brothers were trapped in an elevator for more than half an hour after performing in Los Angeles last week.
Headline: Diaz: 'Lots of Sex' Is My 'Fountain of Youth'
Subhead: Cameron Diaz stays looking great by eating right, exercising and gettin' busy as much as possible.
Headline: Willis Jokes Around with Meat Hairpiece Inspired by Gaga
Subhead: Bald actor Bruce Willis had "Late Show" host David Letterman laughing when he showed up to set wearing a raw meat hairpiece inspired by "that crazy lady" Lady Gaga.
Headline: Mariah Dishes About Her Mustache
Subhead: Mariah Carey discusses her role in "Precious" and the bravery she had to muster to don some upper-lip hair for the homely role.
Headline: Roth undergoes surgery for sea urchin attack
Subhead: Eli Roth got the final poisonous sea urchin spine removed from his foot after a sea urchin attack in Mexico.
Headline: Trump Eyeing U.S. Presidency
Subhead: Billionaire businessman Donald Trump says that he's seriously thinking about running for president of the United States in 2012.
Headline: Hewitt: Mom Is 'So Proud' I'm Playing a Prostitute
Subhead: Jennifer Love Hewitt says her mom loves that she's playing a pole-dancing prostitute in a Lifetime series.
Headline: Stamos evacuated from Disneyland hotel
Subhead: John Stamos was forced to evacuate his Disneyland hotel when a fire broke out.
Headline: Sarandon Loves Depressing Roles
Subhead: Actress Susan Sarandon says that she loves dark, depressing roles because she enjoys cheering up the crew on set.
Headline: Elton Banned From Egypt Over Jesus Christ Comments
Subhead: Elton John is banned from performing in Egypt for insulting Middle Easterners by suggesting that Jesus was a "superintelligent gay man."
Headline: Penn: Ex Robin Is 'A Ghost to Me Now'
Subhead: Sean Penn is coping with the ghost of ex-wife Robin Wright by devoting more time to humanitarian efforts.
Headline: Singer Lewis Fell Down an Elevator Shaft!
Subhead: Leona Lewis was unhurt after falling down an onstage elevator shaft while performing in England.
Headline: Minogue Plans Dogs-in-Cars Photo Book
Subhead: Kylie Minogue has just treated herself to a top-end camera and is planning to launch her photographic career with a book featuring snaps of dogs in cars
Headline: Lutz Nervous About What "Mother Thinks" of Underwear Ads
Subhead: "Twilight" star Kellan Lutz was confident about his skimpy Calvin Klein ads until he realized his mother would see his seminude pics on billboards all over town.
Headline: Cops raid Bon Jovi's noisy party
Subhead: The rocker threw as crazy a party as the Hamptons ever saw, but the neighbors were annoyed enough with the loud music and fireworks that they called the police.
Headline: Hawn Wants to Teach Buddhism to British Kids
Subhead: Goldie Hawn is in talks to set up a Buddhist school in the United Kingdom to build emotional stability.
Headline: Dempsey Charms Way out of Speeding Ticket
Subhead: Patrick Dempsey escaped a speeding ticket after a starstruck police officer recognized the charming TV star and let him go.
Headline: Ozzy Covers John Lennon for 70th Milestone
Subhead: Metal god Ozzy Osbourne honored what would have been John Lennon's 70th birthday by releasing a cover of the late singer's hit "How."
Headline: Tila Says She’s Adopting Baby Boy From Russia
Subhead: Reality star Tila Tequila says that she has been working on fulfilling her dream of becoming a mother (even though she's claimed to already be pregnant) by adopting a baby boy from Russia.
Headline: Bono serenaded Sinatra
Subhead: The U2 rocker once wrote a song for Old Blue Eyes and serenaded him with it in a Mexican restaurant.
Headline: Prince writes song for hometown team
Subhead: The Purple One wrote a special fight song to inspire the Minnesota Vikings to Super Bowl success [though they've since lost their place in the running].
